| (no subject) |
[Dec. 1st, 2009|08:30 pm] |
It's like show, Why does the actor feel so inadequate when the shows not on, the audience are only interested in the performing monkey, not the man who trains him.
Every stop by wardrobe but no flashing lights. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 12th, 2009|05:16 pm] |
I wish I never stopped playing :(
Time to start again! |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 10th, 2009|12:44 am] |
I'm mega stressed out.
I have no money at all, I hate asking for money off my parents and I owe the bank 1000 quid for my stupid fees.
I can barely buy any food yet my course demands i some how fork out 150 for a trip to london, constantly buy stuff to use for different briefs, pay for printing and photocopying for stupid H and C and they expect me to do this with a stupid part time weekend job that pays me fuck all and receiving ZERO pence from saas, WHICH i hate because people who get money spend it in topshop and shit.
Its infuriating. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 15th, 2009|06:20 pm] |
Heavyy pissed off at myself.
I need to grow a pair, I feel so unwell at the moment. Its crap having a cold/ flu thing and being out the house for 8 hours from 9-5.
Could sleep a lifetime |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 15th, 2009|02:13 pm] |
I am now a student at the glasgow school of art
It still freaks me out thinking about it cause I worked so hard to get there and now that im finally here.. it just feels weird
Good weird though, proud of myself kind of thing :)
still surreal though |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 10th, 2009|05:32 pm] |
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Sex and the city is like a bible |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 3rd, 2009|02:02 am] |
It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for something you are not.
Believing is harder than it seems. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 28th, 2009|01:07 am] |
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sometimes I feel like i'm being asked to be someone else. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 12th, 2009|09:23 pm] |
fluctuation:
To cause to rise and fall or vary irregularly.
It's driving me completely bonkers. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 9th, 2009|08:57 pm] |
It's so strange feeling like you are just starting to go out with someone again, you know that flirty kinda cheeky way you are with someone, I don't think i've ever fancied someone more than Matthew haha
The thing that terrifies me is that I dont know if im ready to go to art school for 4 years, and its like as soon as matts back im starting something that is really life changing and I dont know what to expect in the first 4 weeks. its scary :S
I liked my comfort zone but now I don't think it would ever be the same. Not a bad thing though i supose if you look at it. Sometimes you need to be dropped into the deep end with no float cause you'd never do it otherwise, or need someone to push you and try you.
Appreciation. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2009|11:46 pm] |
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Today isn't such a good day. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 23rd, 2009|08:49 am] |
Matt left this morning and I know its only 6 weeks but saying goodbye was really hard, and I tried not to get upset, I told myself I wouldn't but then I did, like a wee wean haha
Ill miss him like mad, realising he isn't just my boyfriend but my best friend, so cliche i know but he is. I spend so much of my time with him and it won't be the same without him.
Skype is my middle man.
But then I get to see my friends much more and spend time with my family so it can't be all bad.
I'm sure ill greet again soon haha. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2009|02:13 pm] |
Being told AGAIN that I need to wear makeup more often and not allowed to wear borrow his clothes if i have nothing to change into because its "not attractive" has dropped my confidence to rock bottom.
I don't know how to tackle this subject, and I dont know what to do.
Why should I need to wear makeup, and why cant I borrow a t'shirt if Iv been at work all day and dont want to wear my work clothes for the rest of the night.
Guys need to think carefully what they say to people so they dont hurt someones feelings.
I cant be girly 24/7 and to be honest I dont think ill recover this time as quickly |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2009|08:09 pm] |
:(
it upsets me most because i can't do anything about it.
:( |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2009|01:55 am] |
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I want to live in a biosphere. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 28th, 2009|06:37 pm] |
what am I doing... really.
I'm making myself feel sick about it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 23rd, 2009|05:31 pm] |
too busy playing warcraft to talk to your girlfriend?
AYE CAUSE THAT'S COOL. |
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| to hell with you and all your friends.... |
[Apr. 1st, 2009|05:12 pm] |
Listening to tunes that i used to when i was younger makes me well think about some folk haha.
I actually miss it like mad :S
If i could have one wish i would be to go back for a day |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 23rd, 2009|07:35 pm] |
i wish i'd actually stuck in at school got hunnners of highers then i could do what i wanted. But now im limited to practially nothing unless i go do more highers.
I feel so thick and the frustrating thing is that I know im not, Iv wasted 2 years doing this course im doing and i want nothing to do with it anymore which as really upset me. I actually want to use my brain and let it think academically for a change. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 11th, 2009|10:40 pm] |
I feel like I am in four different places constantly, Like i need to be in four places at the one time. I have reason for all four and if im not up to standards of all four i feel guilty. Crossford, corkerhill, Glasgow and Bothwell. Im jumping around like a kangaroo and when i do get to relax i need to get back up again to do something else that suddenly becomes avaliable.
They say money isnt happiness, well it might not make you ultimately happy but it sure as hell will give you the things that make you a little bit happier eventually or happy at the time. then there is ebay to get the money back.
Its amazing how people dont appreciate free money, by that i mean bursary, yes students with bursary are basically on the socially exceptable form of the dole. I get nada. nout from SAAS and i resent it with a passion. I have to work my arse off for 7 hours to get 30 quid when every month people get £300 quid pumped into the bank and spend it on fucking clothes.
I am a bitter, bitter person.
I need a fag. |
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